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Confronting Gender Bias Head-on, Part II
The Question:
I am a female in boutique consulting firm and have been working here (and promoted to middle management) for the last five years. Recently, a male -- junior to me in age -- was hired to our firm and quickly promoted to a position equal to mine. I noted from the outset his extraordinary sense of entitlement. That quality, coupled with relationships he has formed with senior males in the firm, has increased his level of responsibility and prominence. At the same time, he is--with shocking ease--delegating tasks to myself and other peers, and has gone behind my back at points to change my work as he sees fit.
While I certainly admire his sense of entitlement and think I have much to learn from it, I am frustrated by how he treats me and has accomplished his stature in the organization. How can I leverage his behavior to my advantage and grow my own sense of entitlement in a largely male atmosphere? -- Female with Seniority, but No Entitlement
[Send your leadership questions to leadership@washingtonpost.com, or post them in the "comments" section below]
Dear Female with Seniority - -Well, we certainly stirred the pot last week with our advice to you, generating lots of comments about how futile, frustrating, and foolish it would be to try to have a courageous conversation with your colleague. Lots of people have scars from trying to do the right thing by having a real conversation with someone, only to experience it as demonstrating vulnerability and giving the fellow another opportunity to take advantage of you.
It is a big, bad world out there, but leadership is about trying to make it better. And that's what we are talking about today.
Leadership requires holding optimism and realism together so that the optimism prevents the realism from turning cynical and the realism prevents the optimism from turning naïve.
But leadership also involves taking some risk. That's why we do not do it more often.
Let's assume here that your purpose is less about your own advancement and more about changing the culture of the firm so that your successors do not face the same situation that you are confronting. How would you go about doing that? How can you exercise leadership on gender equity from a middle management role?
Here are some steps you might consider if you really want to tackle systemic change.
First, get clear about your purpose. Your goal is to elevate the issue of gender equity so that it takes its place high on the firm's agenda and becomes a policy topic at the senior levels of the firm. This position maximizes the chances that your initiative will be successful and minimizes the chances that you will be marginalized for your efforts.
Second, do some reality checking. Quietly and informally, and without specific reference to your own situation, test out with a few trusted female colleagues whether your perception about gender bias squares with their experience. If your interpretation does not resonate with anyone else, you may be seeing gender bias where it does not exist, as several of the comments to last week's post suggested.
Third, marshal your facts. To the extent possible, collect data and anecdotes about the firm's performance on recruitment, retention, promotions and pay. This is culture change not a legal brief, but there will be some people in the firm, not all by any means, for whom these facts will be a necessary prerequisite to begin the work. The other relevant facts are the track record of other firms, particularly those in the same industry.
Fourth, don't go it alone. Look for partners. Women colleagues who feel the same way you do are obvious potential partners, but not particularly effective ones. They, like you, can be easily dismissed because they stand to gain if the initiative is successful. They are more useful to you in handling some of the groundwork than in being out in front. Only if you find you have touched a real nerve, and there is a groundswell of support for what you are doing, will big numbers of self-interested supporters be of value. A meeting with the CEO with 50 women is wholly different, and much more confrontational, no matter what the tone, than a meeting with five.
Here are some potential partners who may be more effective: senior authorities in the firm who have spouses or daughters who work in male-dominated environments; those spouses and daughters themselves; professional peers of those senior authorities in firms who have had a more positive record of promoting women to senior roles; clients who have high-level female leadership; young men in the firm who have spouses or girlfriends who are early in their own professional careers and/or are particularly interested in gender equity issues; and sympathetic allies in the HR department who will have access to data and current examples.
Fifth, find some way to read the senior authority on the issue. He -- and I presume it is a "he" -- will be an important player because of his role. But read him as if you were looking through him to the organization. His perspective will give you a sense of the temperature on the issue in the firm as a whole because his perspective (and his data) comes from a wider base than your own. He sees what you cannot see and hears what you cannot hear.
Sixth, begin to run some small experiments, like lunch meetings to discuss with issue, or a small committee agreeing to monitor new hiring. Figure out how to nurture or place some allies on key committees, such as recruitment and promotions. Create broader interest in the firm around key vacancies, so that those who do the hiring will feel the eyes of more people on them.
Some of these ideas, and some others, were spelled out in more detail in a book called Leveling the Playing Field we wrote with two women which focuses on gender equity in Jewish organizational life which might be helpful to you.
If you decide to take this on, we wish you well. Exercising leadership is risky activity. It is hard work. And it takes a long time. But doing so gives your life meaning and purpose beyond your own individual aggrandizement. Let us know how you are doing.
[Send your leadership questions to leadership@washingtonpost.com, or post them in the "comments" section below]
By
Cambridge Leadership Associates
|
July 15, 2009; 12:44 PM ET |
Category:
Change management
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Posted by: trailmix2396 | July 20, 2009 1:16 PM
Apologies to those women and men who are talented with needle and thread.
Posted by: blasmaic | July 19, 2009 8:39 AM
I strongly disagree with Blasmaic's comments. This is not about harming a deservedly-rising star, but about how to deal with what appears to be the rapid rise of someone who may -- or may not -- be more valuable to the company than his co-workers.
"Sewing circle????" What a quick and slick put-down of not only the suggestion about dealing with the issue, but also the woman's concerns at all. As someone who is in awe of her friends' creative abilities with a needle, not only is the comment inappropriate, but it is also ignorant.
I'm in a similar position, but my value to my institution is very clear, and quantifiable. I just haven't, until recently, spoken up or sought the limelight as my junior (and, yes, male) colleague has. Many of us (more women than men, but really both genders, and more among older workers than among younger) have been taught to just do a good job and recognition will come to us. That doesn't happen. We each have to be our own best advocates, consonant with our deepest values and aspirations. The trick is figuring out how to do that without becoming a sucker for the get-ahead-at-all-costs crowd.
Posted by: JDWV | July 18, 2009 8:22 PM
fr the article:
>...I noted from the outset his extraordinary sense of entitlement. That quality, coupled with relationships he has formed with senior males in the firm, has increased his level of responsibility and prominence. At the same time, he is--with shocking ease--delegating tasks to myself and other peers, and has gone behind my back at points to change my work as he sees fit. ...
If this little man is not your supervisor, then you have the RIGHT to go to Human Resources and tell them exactly what jb (junior boss) is doing.
Posted by: Alex511 | July 18, 2009 7:46 PM
Last week, a woman wrote and asked how to harm someone who may not have done any wrong to her. This week, the Post sponsors the answer.
"[T]est out with a few trusted female colleagues whether your perception about gender bias squares with their experience." This also is known as a whisper campaign to poison the well against the person you're seeking to harm. Come on, when did a female ever fail to support another female in a complaint against a man?
"...lunch meetings to discuss [the] issue, or a small committee agreeing to monitor new hiring." This is also known as a sewing circle.
Why not develop an organizational culture where people can talk to one another?
The suggestion to not talk directly to a colleague is hugely stupid.
Missing from the entire discussion is talk of revenue, productivity, and efficiency. These concepts are usually foremost in a small business like boutique consulting, and are often far ahead of luxuries like gender sensitivity. This lack of common sense makes it appear that females in organizations assume resources are limitless... or at least are not their responsibility to generate.
Posted by: blasmaic | July 18, 2009 6:53 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
Curious on the gender of some comment contributors.
what does it say about this issue in particular that readers have been super engaged?