Memo to Self

Now that we've made it through inauguration (and what was the deal with Roberts? Can't that guy even get the oath right? Must remember to send him a note saying it was my fault--it'll make him feel better), it's time to get down to the work of being president. First job: define success. That way, we'll know what we are actually trying to achieve. Second job: put definition on desk to refer to at least once a day. Okay, here goes:

1. Continue to remind people that I am not George W. Bush. This is good for at least 50 points in the polls and will buy me time and maneuvering room politically. (Must remember to do it in a nice way--if I do it in a mean-spirited way, then I am George W. Bush. Have flowers sent to him in Texas so he doesn't fume over the way I undressed him in public yesterday--it'll make him feel better.)

2. Do something about the economy. If it works, do more of it; if it doesn't work, do something else. Keep doing things until the economy gets better. (Lesson learned from FDR; actually they're his words-- must remember to quote him. It'll make the Roosevelts feel better.)

3. Close Gitmo; announce new Iraq war plan/withdrawal timetable and troop increase for Afghanistan. It's good to keep campaign promises, plus reminds people I'm not George W. Bush (see #1 above). Gitmo is a national disgrace so the rest of the world will feel better. We'll see about Afghanistan-- if it turns into a disaster, at least Russia mightfeel better. (Remember to help returning vets-- they actually deserve to feel better.)

4. When in doubt, give a speech. (It'll make me feel better.)