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When Leaders Need Friends
Leadership, by definition, is a lonely task. No matter how collegial a leader wants to be, there are times when a CEO or Executive Director has to separate him or herself from the people he is trying to lead. As a result, I often have to address my most difficult challenges, doubts and fears in isolation. It's true, Lao Tzu said, "To lead the people, walk behind them," but notice he didn't say anything about walking alongside them.
So where, or more appropriately, who do I go to talk to about the big questions, which often spill over into life-changing decisions? My wife has my complete trust and confidence but I find she's not the best person to spill my business guts to -- she worries more than I do, and we've got enough shared challenges with three teenage boys. And of course Honest Tea has a Board of Directors, but they aren't always the ideal folks for me to share my questions and worries with, especially those not related to Honest Tea.
When I was selected as a Henry Crown Fellow, a leadership program run by the Aspen Institute that aggregates twenty promising leaders under the age of 45 and forces them to turn their focus away from day to day business and toward bigger ideas, I found the outlet I needed. Reading and discussing the same questions pondered by Aristotle, John Stuart Mill, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Tolstoy, has helped me put the challenges of a bottling plant or a label design into perspective. I'm always surprised how directly the readings connect to real-time issues I'm grappling with.
It's also a chance to meet with peers in a setting and under terms that many leaders are denied. So though I face different daily challenges than the Senior Vice President of a Fortune 500 company, or the Chief Investment Officer of a multi-billion dollar fund, there are certain discussions, issues and even feelings that I can't share with my senior managers, but that someone in my fellowship class will identify with immediately.
Over the past four years (the fellowship lasts two years, but the connection with the program lasts forever), we have watched our classmates undergo life-changing experiences. Some have risen to top positions in world-class companies or non-profits, but just as many have left fast-track careers to focus on family, pursue a non-profit passion, or run for political office. And we have helped each other through intense personal and professional crises.
The unofficial slogan of the Henry Crown Fellowship is: "From success to significance." In other words, congrats on all your accomplishments, now it's time to do something meaningful for yourself and for the world. If that message weren't humbling enough, there is a broader Aspen Global Leadership Network, a group that includes some of the most promising leaders from around the globe - CEO's, governors, cabinet members, you name it.
This weekend we have all been invited to gather in Aspen, Colorado for a meeting called ACT II. As one moderator described the event two years ago, ACT II is like a modern-day Justice League, with leaders converging on Aspen from every continent. We will discuss assigned readings -- Aristotle is again on the syllabus -- but more importantly we will share a space where honesty and results are expected.
Despite the fancy address, ACT II is not a shmoozefest. If you come away with some new contacts but without new ideas, actions or renewed urgency for making a difference, you've wasted the trip.
By
Seth Goldman
|
June 11, 2009; 11:52 AM ET
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Posted by: kross76 | June 19, 2009 6:58 PM
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Excellent insight, Seth, but keep in mind that spouses have the same needs and feel the same loneliness. I am an executive wife and know many others like me who feel they have no one to confide in for fear they'll say something that later hurts their spouse. In my quest for options, I discovered this book: FORUM: The Secret Advantage of Successful Leaders (by Fathelbab). It supports the Leadership Network idea, but on a more personal level.
Wingspouse wives can't attend forums as this book suggests CEO's do, so I've started reaching out to wives through my wingspouse website. Maybe one day, there will be enough wingspouses out there to create a support system for us.
Posted by: wingspouse | June 13, 2009 9:00 AM
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Seth - thanks for your thoughts. As an entrepreneur myself (although my business is much smaller than yours), I totally identify with the need to discuss issues with others who have the same frame of reference and may be dealing with the same challenges. Family members and employees are good information sources and can sympathize but aren't looking at your problems in the same way. I joined the National Association of Women Business Owners several years ago, and found that community of peers, advisors and mentors that have been priceless in helping me grow and manage my company. Congratulations on your success!
Posted by: molly13 | June 12, 2009 3:22 PM
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This post really resonates with me. After 35 years as an entrepreneur, founder and CEO of about 7 companies, I founded ExpertCEO because I understood how lonely it is at the top. I wanted to try and create an online experience to complement in-person peer organizations such as Vistage, YPO, and The Crown Fellowship program. CEOs are extremely busy, and I felt that an online forum could provide some of the benefits of in-person organizations but without the time or financial commitments. ExpertCEO (http://www.expertceo.com) is a private on-line community where senior executives can confidentially exchange ideas with peers, locate trusted resources, ask questions of experts across a range of disciplines, and quickly solve real-world business problems. The site combines social networking technology with concepts proven by CEO peer-to-peer organizations.