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How often do you let your kids fail?

Metro columnist Petula Dvorak weighs in on the "tiger mother" debate set off by Yale Law School professor Amy Chua. In her new book, Chua explains why she chose the Chinese-style parenting of letting kids fail in order to let them succeed.

By Ryan Kellett  |  January 18, 2011; 11:37 AM ET  | Category:  National Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati  
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Not allowing kids to fail is a horrible disservice to them. While constant failure can damage confidence, children need to learn how to cope with failure and disappointment. When they grow up and get out into the world, they are going to face a lot of it, like not getting an A of a final, failed relationships, not getting that dream job, etc. Children need to learn coping mechanisms as well as how to be proactive a solve the problem that may have led to the failure. The world isn't going to coddle them.

Posted by: jromaniello | January 19, 2011 9:34 AM

Young people need all the experiences they can get and failure is just as valuable, if not more so, than success. Too many times folks do not understand the reasons for success and have a hard time replicating that. Failure is usually accompanied with "lessons learned". People who don't fail aren't trying very hard things. Failure when you are young reduces failure when you are old. Having said all that too many failures is also a sign of other problems and do cause employers pause.

Posted by: fcrucian | January 19, 2011 11:48 AM

I COMPLETELY agree with JRomaniello. Life isn't easy and the more we coddle our children the less they know how to handle the problems that the world will throw at them. Should we protect our kids - yes but not to the point where they don't grow and learn. Most of us know there are hardships in this world and for our kids we need to show them how to handle these things which means they will have to fail from time to time so that they can know, understand, and learn from it.

Posted by: koerber09 | January 19, 2011 11:51 AM

Chua did not let her kids fail in order to let them succeed. She emotionally terrorized them.

Chua did not let her kids fail, ever. She communicated to them that the price of failure, even in small things, was the loss of her love and respect. She is a truly monstrous being.

Posted by: karlmarx2 | January 19, 2011 1:12 PM

If your kids never fail, they are not trying hard enough. Add sports to the Tiger Mom plan, and sleepovers as well. Note that a whole lot of what makes people successful in life is interpersonal skills rarely learned from a book.

The key thing is not to protect them from all failure. Maybe when young children are starting to play a new game let them win, but never always let them win.

Posted by: Muddy_Buddy_2000 | January 19, 2011 1:20 PM

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