Good topic but not full realized. I could read this writer if she brought more to her topic. I wanted more! Unltimately unsatisfying, however.

Definitely this topic will never die. I wish Courtney could give readers some idea how her generation (just one behind mine, lol) will achieve what previous generations were not able to do, stop the war of the sexes: make women's lives easier, and men's lives more enjoyable, vis-a-vis an engaging family life and everyone's more rewarding overall. She offers no real substance, or the young person's creative thinking on this one. No solutions, same old problem.

Everyone has an ego to feed Ms. Martin. You seem just a bit blinded by either the hypocritical, partisan, so-called feminist movement, Dad was a republican/Mom a liberal or “dear old Dad didn't give me enough hugs” syndrome. If Ms. Martin takes off here feminist blinders, she’ll see that perhaps dear old Mom’s porous life, as she categories it, was pretty compartmentalized also. One can go outside the day-to-day job to seek self-serving gratuity also Ms. Martin. How is the WP pundit experience feeding your ego? So Dad wasn’t much of a role model. Maybe he was too much of a straightforward guy for you to handle and didn’t hide behind some “porous” pomposity. He sounds like a pretty good man to me and I wouldn’t have minded having him as a Dad and role model.
Dad got a bad rap on this one and I think Ms. Martin maybe needs to get some counseling vs. punditry training.

It is a pretty casual topic. Perhaps the focus should have been on changing trends or Mr MOM. I mean fathers comfortable with looking after kids and moms zealosuly pursuing careers. Precisely, changing with the times...

Pretty boring. Few people have a problem with women in the workplace and if they do they will die soon. It would be more interesting to highlight the fact that women now comprise half the workplace but are paid less. Also, now that many families have 2 working parents, what about having an opinion like support for taxpayer funded daycare. Let the dirt fly over that controversy.

I like it. Rings a bell with an aging boomer like myself. Why not try something more contrversial such as elder abuse and the need to protect our elders.

well written, but excruciatingly boring. choose a topic that is remotely controversial. yes, today's young people share parenting and income responsibilities. this is not news (though there was just an article about it in the Times, which might define it as news).

Flexible. I think the word we are looking for is flexible- instead of porous. Just remember, your parents life made your lifestyle possible. But don't listen to me, I'm one of those Donna Reed dinosaurs who mainly worked, labored and chored at home, working for my family, without pay. Don't diss Belkin, she knows more than you ever will.

This is the kind of essay I'd expect to see in the magazine or Slate's DoubleX blog, not nestled in among the pundits. If Ms. Martin's luck doesn't hold out in the contest, perhaps she should try there.

I'm not sure whether I agree or disagree with Courtney's comment of an increasingly porous work-life separation among both genders, but this is certainly one of the more thought provoking entries in the top 10 (along with Maame's). I enjoyed reading it. Good luck to you, Courtney.

This post has been split into 5 segments and is directed at all the finalists. If you want to find the other 4, check the other comment streams. They are all written by me, MsJS, and will all have approximately the same date/time stamp. This is segment #1.

First of all, my heartfelt congratulations to you all. For whatever reason, you caught the eyes of the WaPo op/ed team in a way the rest of us didn’t. Now the fun begins.

By now you’ve probably figured out that the primary goal of this contest is not to find the next great pundit. It’s to build WaPo readership and revenue. But the two goals do have the potential to go hand and hand, and one has to give WaPo an ‘A’ for creativity and originality.

The remaining 4 segments to this post will cover what I think are some gotta-do’s if you are to win this thing. Since the advice is free and comes from one who didn’t make the final cut, you’re more than welcome to ignore it. And no, I’m not a WaPo plant. This ends segment #1.

Courtney, this is a terrific insight. What richer lives we lead when the work-life line becomes more porous. Though I sometimes worry that we wind up working too much (we never "turn off" or "go home"), perhaps we all work less when both sexes evolve towards this balance. Well done.

I enjoyed reading Ms. Martin's editorial largely because of its graceful prose, but I am somewhat puzzled at the content. As best I can tell, there is nothing new here at all -- nothing. In terms of content alone, I read similar editorials, heard similar opinions, and engaged in similar discussions well over a quarter century ago, although I hasten to add that few persons then or now can match the quality of Ms. Martin's prose.

Nonetheless, should a person who offers absolutely nothing novel be regarded as pundit?

Don't like the anecdotal lead ins, and find the sweeping claims based upon them to be a bit arbitrary and groundless. I would not like reading this pundit.

Transposing roles, instead of the community activist lawyer we have a drudge--probably works in trusts & estates; and a community activist who knows that meeting people in social settings is a great way to pick up new clients.

Nothing new here except the label 'porous'; but that and 'blue' ribbon credentials as a liberal should send this candidate to the next round.

Let's see, you cited to the Center for American Progress and praised your mom for being a community activist.

Yup, you're liberal enough for the commenters and also for the WaPo. Congrats. You have a shot at the next round. No intellectual diversity here.

Well done, Courtney. I can picture what you describe very well as my family had a very similar circumstance with one major exception. My father refused to retire and literally took a full bag of work with him to the hospital where he passed away a few days later in 2006. He didn't want to leave anything "undone."

His stick-to-itiveness and commitment to work was sometimes a bone of contention with Mom who worked part time outside of the home and yet was always able to balance work, home-life, and anything else the world through at her at a moment's notice. In many ways Mom was the glue to which Dad was able to stick and regroup once he walked back into the house every night at 6:30.

I can say that my father, in his last moments, said to me "I could have been a better Dad." He was an outstanding Dad-- but I understood his frustration in looking back and seeing the number of hours he put into work that seeped into the home due to improper damming and a desire to be the best. And yes, I remember his hairless ankles too.

Thank you for bringing back memories for me as you bring to light the issues of home vs work and the balance one must find out of both need and circumstance.

Good luck!

Courtney has her finger on the pulse of her generation and her reflections, musings, analyses and ideas are thought provoking, refreshing and original.

Agree with Oldenough2remember(I am, too) but I think the writer here has nicely capsulized a generational perspective. You can only write from where you are. She did, and made a good job of it. Her writing is fresh and her imagery well chosen.

I do not altogether like the choice of the word "porous" as it is used, here. I'm not sure why, but it somehow strikes a false note with me. I don't know what I would have chosen instead, though. I guess I just don't like the visual of one's life as a semi-permeable membrane.
Or maybe I feel it is an inaccurate description. I don't know that it is inaccurate, but suspect that is too pat a way to put it.

A wee short on substance, but the best-written one I've read yet.

Rambling worthless rubbish. Top ten?

Courtney...pretty good...but then, I'm more like your Dad than your Mom...in fact, a lot more. I was wondering, none of the chosen entries was about war and peace. Is that a man thing? A retired Sergeant Major friend of mine told me that they could just close down and turn off the lights without women in the modern military. So why these choices? Just wondering!

“…the entitled, earnest Millennials” – that pretty much sums up this columnist’s position, too. When Ms. Martin goes on to describe the earnest wishes of her male cronies – ‘My guy friends, late in their 20s and starting to spend fewer nights on bar stools,” I cringe. Remember the cry, “never trust anyone over 30?” Well, that was 30 years ago when Ms. Martin’s parents were late-20 somethings with idealistic, anti-establishment visions. Obviously, the philosophy had to be restated when they reached 30. And, I contend it should be inverted now – “never trust anyone under 30” to understand the difference between work and life. The fact is, the “the compartmentalized version that [her ]father has left behind’ likely actually evolved from his earlier, earnest belief that his generation was “not the establishment.” Of course, they became the establishment – evolving from idealist activists to lawyers, doctors and even, Presidents. So, I’m not ready for a Millenial to wear the crown “pundit” yet – the vast majority are still in the process of growing up, gaining wisdom and a healthy sense of humbleness. And, I count Courtney Martin in that majority.

congrats on being top 10. fresh point of view. I need to hear more from this younger generation because for the life of me I can't figure them out. I fear for our future. :) I'm not sure who's going to be doing all the work while everyone else is thinking about it.

I agree with several of the others. While the topic may be interesting. this is written with an edge of narrative prose vs. editorial comments. I was three paragraphs in before I understood your point.

This piece lacks a cohesive thesis and rambles before finally making itself clear near the end. Ultimately, the average reader on the metro would have skipped to the obits or the sports page long before reaching a valuable idea.

This is really, really shallow.

While the topic is commendable, the article itself is not well-written. I found myself having to rewrite parts of it just to understand the basic idea. One thumb up for topic; one thumb down for inability to write.

Excellent article, Courtney, and an interesting topic. When I think of the thousands upon thousands it took to send our three through private school, college and even an MBA for one I am quite hopeful opportunities will exist.

You wrote - "I don't know a single one who isn't committed to having a career." It is a wonderful/horrible observation.

Wonderful in that our children have found an attainable purpose to commit to. Horrible in that, unlike your parents, you don't really have a choice.

With two-income households came higher prices. You must pay twice as much or more for cars, homes and even to educate your children. And, out of that you have to also pay increased taxes, child care, etc.

It is said "A person becomes a Conservative when they have something to conserve." I think that is largely true.

Congratulations!!! Please continue to write and contribute!

Excellent article, Courtney, and an interesting topic. When I think of the thousands upon thousands it took to send our three through private school, college and even an MBA for one I am quite hopeful opportunities will exist.

You wrote - "I don't know a single one who isn't committed to having a career." It is a wonderful/horrible observation.

Wonderful in that our children have found an attainable purpose to commit to. Horrible in that, unlike your parents, you don't really have a choice.

With two-income households came higher prices. You must pay twice as much or more for cars, homes and even to educate your children. And, out of that you have to also pay increased taxes, child care, etc.

It is said "A person becomes a Conservative when they have something to conserve." I think that is largely true.

Congratulations!!! Please continue to write and contribute!

I really liked this one. It presented a general trend in a personal anecdote. It is an opinion piece not, nor ever intended to be, a footnoted scientific article. Some people seem to be confused about that and some people just don't like social change and blame the messenger.

Good luck. You are a fine writer.

not bad

MSJS and a couple other posters bring up a good point: "The column is freshly written, which I like, but lacks sufficient evidence to support her positions."

It's true that the evidence here is highly anecdotal. Unfortunately, that is the "fool's gold" standard set by the vast majority of editorial writers these days, including Fred Hiatt's Krusty Leftovers gang here on these very pages. They know some senior who is scared of the health care reform bill, and ~ voila! ~ that becomes "seniors are just scared to death of this legislation". Or we had a cold snap in Iowa last week, and George Will is back on his embarrassingly dead horse about climate change being a commie hoax.

I'd like to see the whole lot of them - and the journalists on the reporting side of the "Wall" as well - conscripted into a basic statistics course as a contingent for further employment. We'd get a much more reliable picture of the world if that happened.

Of course, the anecdote is a wonderful way to put a human and entertaining face on real trends. But it should be routine to have to preface that with some hard evidence that your anecdote is representative.

Well written, but more of a "deep thoughts" lifestyle reflection than something that would fit in the op/ed section of The Post. If she were to pull an upset and beat out Maame Gyamfi (her closest stylistic competitor) to the next round, I'd be curious see if Martin has any edge to offer on hard-issue writing.

You get it, Courtney. But then I've always known that. I love the description of how your mom functioned/integrated her roles and ambitions as "porous." That's a good way to describe it I think. As well as how you see members of the other gender wanting the same. I love the re-framing of what is going on and although I am only a few years older than Belkin, I relate to your perception of what's going on a lot better than I do to hers.

Good luck here!

In a world where two parents (or both men and women) work by necessity, the influencing factors of life are not choices. Parenting, house work & chores, and meeting work demands are now all part of everyone's life. Some vestigal men may have had the experience of focusing solely on work while a spouse held together home and hearth. Those days are faded (or fading fast). Those days represented some two millenia of human existence in the western heritage. We will face for a long time to come the reshaping of culture and family life, some good and some not-so-good. It should be interesting.

Give him a break. Maybe your father doesn't want to grow up. It sounds like he's been stunted by an overabundance of estrogen and lack of appreciation in his golden years.

How nice that Ms. Martin and her friends all want a balanced lifestyle.
What I don't see is any evidence presented beyond her anecdotal examples that this is actually a trend. Also, what exactly is the "recent hogwash pitting the sexes against one another"?
The column is freshly written, which I like, but lacks sufficient evidence to support her positions. Bottomline, it doesn't convince me that she and her pals are creating anything more than wistful intentions. The baby boomers wanted peace and love back in the 1960s and 1970s...look what we have now.

Responding to MCCXXIII : I believe Ms. Martin's entire point is that she is firmly within the selected demographic from whom supposedly many young women are opting out from career to be Donna Reed, and has noticed no such shift. My (male) life is more like Ms. Martin's mother's life, sometimes to a distressing degree -- I'd rather be better at separating those realities so that I could focus better on getting things done and being in whichever moment is upon me.

"I don't know a single one who isn't committed to having a career. Perhaps even more important, I don't know a single young man who isn't committed to being an involved father someday. "

This is a common problem with journalists/pundits of a certain class and stature (not just economic, but also educational) ... assuming that the people you know are representative of the people in general.

My observations are similar to Courtney's, but I know that the group of people I know (and who I don't know personally but are in "my circles") are only a small slice of American pie. The groups of people who surround me doesn't generally include immigrant women raising large families, single mothers living in poverty, traditional Muslim women, or large Mormon families, just to name a few examples.

I would caution Courtney not take the social circle of a young, white, educated child of a two-professional-parent household, and use it to extrapolate a view of the entire country.

Nice. Good luck.

Very nicely done--best o' the bunch.

Shouldn't this be in a more fitting publication, like readers digest, or Ladies Home Journal?

Here is a gem WaPo shouldn't let go of... and now there are two, I read Maame Gyamfi first.

I love her insight into her mother's life as being porous. It is a perfect description. I hope her father finds something to feed his ego, far too many people get caught up in the job to feed their self esteem. It's liberating to realize that in the end it just that, a job.

Good article. Good luck for the next round.

Hmm, somebody fixed it. That's service. :)

I was just posting on Maame Gyamfi's comments that I think it's a tossup between her and Ms. Martin.

still not posting

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xxx are we working now washington post comments editor ???

An engaging topic treated from a fresh angle, and wonderfully written. Thumbs up!