That was great! I'm so glad to see someone here decided to have some fun with their challenge!

Bravo, Mr. Huffman. Your first round entry was easily the best of the bunch - interesting, funny, and on to something important.

OK, I'm no pushover, but this one is pretty good. Hope he gets votes.

I appreciate, and am trained in comedy writing, but this piece is reminiscent of a recycled email joke/cartoon that was forwarded around last year around election time. (Minus the Glenn Beck reference.) If I want to read something like this, I'll go to The Onion. (Or The Endive)

I always appreciate humor because life is too serious not to laugh at it. I have to read what what the other contestants have to say, but Mr. Huffman is a definite maybe for my vote. I might point out, however, that if the Obamas had given the kiddies candy on Halloween, Republicans would have been screeching that they were trying to destroy the children's teeth. (At least they didn't give them toothpaste).

I love this contest.

Even though I've stated elsewhere my intention to sit out the voting for this round, I'd really like to vote for Kevin. Here's why: I want to see the doors of Washington swing open to this guy, so he can give the rest of us an irreverent look inside. His humor really can "be the change" IF he stays true to his inner vision and refuses to become beholden to anyone other than his muse.

I'd like to see Kevin show me that he doesn't just write, but does a fair amount of reading as well. I'd like to see that he's paying attention to what other media presences are saying and that he isn't just clever, but has an intelligent grasp of the issues. Whether that would expand and develop his range, or ruin him, I have no way of knowing. But that's what I'd like to see happen.

Believe me Kevin, I care about Halloween and feel your pain on that one. This is the only article of the bunch that I actually e-mailed to a friend. (And I can't remember the last "Post" item I sent anyone prior to that.) So you really rate with me. Now if you could add some depth, more political savvy, more "important" issues to your range, I think you could be great. I'm not looking for the next Dave Barry or Andy Rooney. Add some real bite to your commentary--- as with Mike Royko, e.g. More access to the "halls of power" might be just what you need to develop into something even better. But what you already are is durn good, buddy, and you wouldn't have to change a thing for me.
You have fun with your writing and are comfortable with your style. Good Luck!

You must be kidding. I'll vote for the next "great" pundit as soon as you fire a few of the present crop. Another pundit is all the world really needs.

Humor is so difficult to pull off, and Kevin does it so well. Witty and subtle. He's the best of the bunch by a wide margin. But I suspect that internet voting may go to the best networked, not the best qualified.
Regardless, congrats Kevin on a great piece!

Just a tad longer than it needed to be. I was entertained, then slightly, ever so slightly, bored as the article lengthened. If Kevin's tendency to write more than necessary is curtailed by an editor, then he is the pundit I'd choose!

I'm not going to remenisce at all about my own trick-or-treating days, or tell you that my kids have never gone out on Halloween (okay, so I just did). The thing I like about his writing, is it's funny, made me laugh out loud at one, no, two points, and is relevant. I think he'd make a Great Pundit if he can keep this up because you don't have to agree, but he expresses it well and is entertaining. While I'm totally against Halloween his humorous look at tradition and how things change is harmless fun.

I enjoyed the article because it caused some latent thoughts I had about the holiday to surface. As a parent I remembered my excitement in seeing my children learn about the varied dimensions of Halloween; the wonder of getting to go out in the streets at night time, of dressing up in some outlandish costume of which they seldom understood the underlying meaning until they got old enough to pick their own costumes, and of breaking the hard and fast rules about eating candy much less going out and collecting it. It is a children's holiday that the parents enjoy vicariously. Thanks for triggering these thoughts.

Hey Kevin- You made me laugh out loud reading about the 'sugar fix' and the parents 'putting away the breakables.'
YOU made me laugh during a very difficult
chapter in my life. My best wishes to you.

Why oh Why do we need yet another pundit? What convinces people like Krauthamer and Will that they have any insights that we particularly want them to share with us? The whole idea of punditry runs counter to logic, I want articles written by experts on specific fields that provide me with information and analysis that I do not have access to otherwise. The instant expertise of a pundit is anything but that.

Arnnyc makes a very good point about judging these columns. Which of these ten columns do I with I had written? It was a close battle among my top three or four choices, but, in the end, the ability to make your point with humor, and just plain good writing, won out.

Hallowe'en is LIFE. The evil spirits of All Hallows' Eve are allowed one night of fun before the "hallows" arrive on All Saints Day, November 1 to relegate them back to darkness.
Children must learn, as we all do, that life brings both evil and good, pranksters and benefactors, shysters and ministers.
To hide the downside of life from children is doing them more harm than good.

Thank you Kevin, you made me laugh, you made me smile. Totally original and without the pomposity of so many of the other entries.It was the only one I wish I could say I wrote. I look forward to your next offering. Bravo

While the author has fair writing skills he misses the points Glenn Beck makes time-and-time-again. Beck exposes some of the corruption in our government. There are many people who don't like that -- the author is doubtless one of them. Ridiculing rather than killing the messenger is a bit more civilized, of course. However before criticizing Glenn Beck one should be familiar with his ways, with his technigues in skewing the skewable. One should also note Beck's successes: ACORN and Van Jones -- America is the winner!

Obviously my vote is not for this author.

Kevin,
Truly--hysterical. This made me laugh out loud but also think. Thank you and good luck--you are by far one of the best!

Very funny. The only downer was that I didn't resist the temptation to click on the Glenn Beck link, and so I spent three minutes being reminded how full of hate some members of our species are.

But thank you Kevin, for the smile.

Brings up a dilemma. There are so many substantive problems facing our country that I feel like we need a pundit like Dr. Richter with the intellectual "umph" and desire to take some of them on. But I also enjoy the writing and feeling of people like Huffman, Martin, and Gyamfi. Help, I am feeling rudderless in this vote!

You'll get the non-meatloaf treat from me any Hallowe'en you ring my bell!

You're funny and pointed.

Hope you're around in this contest for a long, long time.

If humor is the motive then it needs to be clear. At times the piece sounds serious calling Halloween a critical holiday. Critical since when? Maybe a critical holiday to children and those with a child's heart?

The piece was too serious when it states, "But as with Christmas, Halloween not only is getting away from its religious roots, it's also losing the key underlying socio-cultural messages." It has been a long long time since Halloween carried a religous message to the wide culture of America. Holidays have been hijacked for political, religious, and social purposes. Christmas and Halloween were both pagan holidays of different names stolen for religious and some can argue political purposes by a competing religion. And that religion having been taken for political puposes.

Writing humor is a more difficult kind of writing. I would like to see a clear separation of serious criticism versus humor.

While it was a small amount of work to read for not flowing as well as I like, the column had its inciteful moments.

Mark John Hunter - Alpena

This really made me laugh. The day after Halloween, a friend of mine sent me a picture of her niece all dressed up with a big scowl on her face. She was outraged that her parents wouldn't let her get the bigger set of rabbit ears she wanted. It brought back a flood of memories of my own Halloween disasters, in particular, a windy Halloween where my witch hat kept blowing off and my rubber witch hands were too clumsy to retrieve it. This column perfectly captured the utter seriousness with which children approach their "jobs" on Halloween.

Kevin:
This is the only one of the pundit entries I e-mailed to a friend. I've no doubt your writing will take you far, just as it is.
I don't know whether some concentrated study of the really serious political issues of today would give your writing more power or ruin it. Either way, I am looking forward to reading more of it.

Enjoyed it.It was funny and delivered a glancing blow to the threats lurking to destroy Halloween as we knew it.

In my community, Halloween used to be going to people's houses and getting candy. This halloween the streets were deserted and everyone was all at the high school for "Trick or Trunk" where kids and parents walk through a long gauntlet of mostly commercial sponsors who give away candy to kids and brochures to parents. Even a church was there recruiting. Big social gathering but not the same.

Lots of fun...I enjoyed reading it. You might come across funnier if you don't try as hard to force it. And please, not so many cliches next time. But thanks for an good read.

Humor in the pundit contest! Thank God. Vote for Huffman.

joebanks: Well, I liked it, so there.

If you couldn't figure out this was tongue in cheek, how can you consider yourself fit to judge?? I mean, does a brick wall have to fall on yer noggin?

'Tis sad but so true. A little chilly to think that when we could dress up as axe-murderers, scalliwag pirates, and various and sundry scary monsters, hardly any of those existed in real life. Halloween has sadly come full circle where the monsters are now among us in scary numbers, preying upon us in reality, masks and costumes off.
And then, hand in hand, we have government and other "interested" agencies and/or organizations attempting to not only run our lives and those of our kids, but now also telling us how to think. It makes ya wonder how all these real life monsters came about - and just what the hell they're doing on our streets to make the majority of our society have to alter our innocent life styles for the evil few. Halloween is now a scary reality, no longer a tradition to celebrate and feast on fine candies and jubilation while everyone is being forced to stay at home due to either to much crime outside or abusive searches at airports. The government has produced fear and paranoia in such mass hysteria precisely in order to make us all behave like lemmings.
The monsters have to go. The same people manipulating us are responsible for all these real life monsters who prey upon us. It's as if they are purposely doing so...

This is the best one yet! Very well written. It's rather shocking to see how many comments are missing the point: this is cultural satire. It's expressing an opinion by shining a light on a ridiculous aspect of our society. By making us smile, he makes us think..."hmm...it is insane that Glenn Beck associates Halloween with socialism...therefore, perhaps the other hundreds of things he calls socialist are also insane." Or, "oh wow, Halloween is about preying on the weak, etc, etc. Is that, as a society, how we behave?"

This is much harder to do, and to do well (as Kevin has). There's no rule that pundits have to be dry. You can share your opinion without being boring. For those clamoring for him to try something "serious", perhaps ask the other contestants to try lightening up their pieces. Your opinions—even on “serious” subjects--will reach far more people if they can be entertained at the same time they are informed. Just ask John Stewart or Stephen Colbert.

I agree. There are too many parents out there trying to turn Halloween into Positive-Role-Model-Ween. I had my 5-year old in a Vampire dress and she was cuter than any of the million princesses and tinkerbells.

"I'm still wondering if Mr. Huffman can write a serious piece"

Agreed. I often wondered the same thing about Art Buchwald.

I cannot relate to this piece. I am not sure how this fits in with the opinion page. Thumbs down!

Reading your column is like going to the Comedy Club and listening to a stand-up who tries too hard. It makes me feel uneasy because I'm embarrassed for you, Kevin. You and Courtney should get together. You're made for one another.

Though Tom Cruise "had" Rene Zellwegger at "hello" in the movie "Jerry Maguire", I am afraid that you lost me as soon as you mentioned "desiccated apricots" in your introduction.

I thought it was great that President Obama dressed as Bill Cosby and Mrs. Obama dressed Earth Kitt.

A light and enjoyable read, reminds me of Art Buchwald. Good work.

You really need to make it clear when your tongue is in your cheek or people will think your foot is up your a@@. That it was hard to tell means the author didn't quite get it done.

Great piece and very humorous. We can all need a good laugh these days. Well written, straight forward and to the point, and true!
Why can't we all just get back to the basics and stop over thinking everything! Kids just want to have fun (once a year!!!) and us adults cherish these basic memories from our own pasts.

An amusing piece, would work for the WP magazine, but too light in the pants for an opinion piece. I'm enjoying this contest, though. And not enough people are talking about Halloween in America. We gotta hold on to it, keep it real! Dressing up as biblical characters and veggies and giving out toothbrushes is not Halloween.

OOOUUUPH! In charity, I am going to assume that this piece is "tongue in cheek", but it seems more "foot in mouth" than funny.

Unfortunately I feel like I've just sat through a tennis or ping-pong match between two hyperactive, disjointed asolescents, turning my head from side to side as the ball is lobbed between them, while trying to keep track of where that ball is...

Even humour has to have a point, but this attempt is like a viewing a puzzle wherein the pieces have been scattered about or hidden under the sofa-leaving this reader to sigh over the lost possibility for even a smile.

This is blandly enjoyable in spots, but rises no higher than the level of college newspaper humor.

Mr. Huffman's second submission seems to be both more tightly written and more humorous than his first. I enjoyed his editorial and chuckled a lot, but nonetheless the editorial seems to be too lightweight to merit serious consideration.

I note with interest a suggestion offered below by Chicory, who proposed that Mr. Huffman deliver Professor Richter's opinions. This may be an idea that is well worth exploring. Thanks, Chicory.

Could have been a good subject, if spun correctly. No insight beyond the obvious. What is it about? Doesn't track, paragraph to paragraph. Doesn't say anything, when it could have been great.

If "Halloween is supposed to teach us it's a dog-eat-dog world out there," this guy is one sad puppy. He needs help.

On the other hand, this is one great paragraph, insightful with humor:

"Until I heard this, I hadn't even contemplated the next frontier. First, the schools stop letting kids dress up like axe murderers. Then we lose sight of the pagan rituals. And before you know it, Barack Obama is eyeing your kids' candy with bad intent." Too bad the rest was a hodge podge of nothing.

Next Great Pundit Scorecard:

Selected: 5 men, 5 women – no surprise there. Met the D word requirement – Diverse group.

Seven were either bad, dumb, light weight, single issue writers(3), Obama bashing, Fox news supporting, or watered down with “fair and balanced” writing (5). Not one did a credible job covering a big, national issue. Not one supported the president.

Three were actually quite good, all by women. One was youth’s view, one single issue, one was personal and very insightful. All covered big, important national issues.

Bottom line, WP did a poor job selecting. 5 men, 5 women - seriously? Several were so bad the contestants have no chance to win. Single issue writers, gone in 60 seconds. Excluding the 3, no depth, no insight, no original thought. Oh, I guess in that way it does mimic with current crop of opinion writers in the WashPost.

OK, it was funny and I laughed. That being said, I thought the purpose of this round was to stretch beyond one's initial essay. I'm still wondering if Mr. Huffman can write a serious piece with a tad more backbone to his arguments. So far he hasn't researched a topic or taken on anything more weighty than a full bag of Halloween treats.
On the bright side, he writes well enough that I'm looking forward to finding out.

Going green vs Halloween- Trick or treats win. Good analogies, nice sense of history and current pumpkin heads like Mr Beck thorwn in for good measure. The humor was subtle and on point whereas the energy piece was like a Science Mag article , I was looking for the Cites and biblio refrences at the end of the piece and couldnt wait for it to be over.

Bah! Humbug! --- and all that stuff. Halloween is no more. Where are the pea-shooters and bars of Ivory Soap? Where are the pins to stick in doorbells so as to bring targets out to the front door? Where is the clothesline to tie to garbage cans which must be tipped over when the door is opened to unpin the doorbell?
Where has it all gone? I'll tell you. It is buried with sandlot baseball and unstructured playtime and tall metal playground slides and swings. We must be safe, above all!

Candy? Candy??? We don't need no stinkin candy!!!

This is good. I laughed and understood the more serious point about making everything into a political statement. It maybe needed one zinger at the end to drive the point home, but this is certainly one of the best of these columns.

Huh? Halloween is a metaphor for something? I think that's what he's trying to say, right? Or we're too puritanical? Or socialist?

Halloween started changing in the mid-'90s when the fundies arbitrarily and trendily decided that Halloween was Satanic. Way to miss the point, guys! And way to try to kill everyone's fun (hey, if you want to ruin the holiday for your own kids that's one thing, but when you start pushing to have it taken out of schools, you're being a bad neighbor). Halloween is about dressing up, staying out late and getting free candy. It's one of the best American cultural inventions ever (yes, I know its origins are Celtic).

Hey I laughed.

Well done and thank you. I love Halloween to this day. I'm not giving it up despite the Marxist link that Beck gives it.

Snore. Wake me up when this "finalist" has something fresh to offer.
Both of this guy's entries were quasi-humorous and both have failed.
Dude, instead of trying to be funny and use terms like "pie-hole" and "rocking", try and strecth yourself and write a serious piece that has a well-articulated opinion.

Great read, as was the first column. Exactly what the post needs. I take back my comments about Kevin's initial piece yesterday. I had these two confused, as they sort of look alike. I've been in Kevin's corner all along.

Nice work. This is, by far, my favorite of all of these I've read.

I liked the writing, but how is this really an opinion piece? This column reminds me more of a poor man's Gene Weingarten (I mean that as a compliment). It would seem to be something more suited to the Style section rather than the OpEd section.

Great column. This guy could be the next Stephen Colbert!

You get a pass from me for having the courage to make the Obama is a socialist analogy, in print, to a rabid left audience.

I will quibble though. UNICEF has been around forever with Halloween. I give kids begging for UNICEF a choice- spare change or candy, but not both.

keep working at it. good potential. everybody loves a humorist.

While there is something to be said for indulging yourself once in awhile, I think that I've decided that this is a great rip on the American sense of entitlement, which is something people should rip on much more often.

Great column, Kevin. You just won my vote.

Oh man, Glen Beck is so funny. But I wonder what dictionary he is using. Mine doesn't define being a commie or socialist as taking one kid's candy away and giving it to another kid. Nope, nothing about candy in there.

Yikes, Kevin Huffman just beat out all the others on my score pad. At first, I thought he was serious and dull, but then I realized he was using his great sense of humor. I forgave him when I laughed out loud at work at least twice in this column. I gave him a 9 on this one and a 10 on his earlier one, and, if I remember correctly, he used great humor in his first one. If so, humor is his strength and he should stick with it, as he has.

He earned 19 out of 20 points on my score chart, with Courtney and Burton tied for second. Yet I remember Maame fondly, so she struck a chord too. She has an identity, but Burton and Kevin have stronger ones I think.

Hmmm...information to save the world from global warming versus belly laughs at work....if we could just have Kevin deliver Burton's facts!

What a great way to end the week, with two perfect columns!!

Two thumbs down and two fingers up. Stick with your day job.

This is a great column, very humorous and dripping with sardonic intent. After reading the other contestants Kevin seems head and shoulders above the rest in writing talent, insight and the ability to write an entertaining column.
Unfortunately, his glaring void of inside-the-beltway platitudes and "conventional wisdom" (a la David Broder) will probably render him unacceptible to the Post's panel of judges.
I hope to read more of his stuff somewhere.

I can't believe I read the whole thing! One precious finalist slot wasted on this guy. Pity the real pundit who finished at number 11.

I think this piece is great. I enjoyed it a lot. There is a lot more toungue-in-cheek truth in this than anything Charles Krauthimer ever wrote.

The kids didn't go out on beggers night this year in my neighborhood. We had some wing nut shoot and kill another party goer at some child's birthday party three houses down. Kinda killed the mood I guess.

Loved this one!

I've been in Ohio myself, recently, visiting relatives. As I sat squirming in church, an orange flier fell out of the bulletin. At least this church has not gone so far as to denounce Halloween entirely, as some fundamentalist groups have done. But true to the form reported in this column, children were admonished, "No scary or ghoulish costumes, please." And they were encouraged to dress up as "fruit of the spirit."

I have a hunch Kevin has been working on this one for a while, and has had some time to polish it. He knew there'd be a "Halloween at the White House" story, and it doesn't take much imagination to predict the way the "mom in chief" would handle that one. So he would have been able to do much of his writing in advance, and then just tweak it with actual details.

As one previous poster commenting, he's no Dave Barry. But he could be the next Kevin Huffman. Sadly, my heart belongs to Maame Gyamfi. And I think Kevin can do better than Wapo.

Mr. Huffman...do you need assistance in finding an issue about which to write? Attempting, as you do, to bring national politics into a seasonal one-evening event is about as lame as it can get for a proposed pundit. As you look at the world around you, can you not see reality?

Mr. Huffman, I knew Dave Barry. You're no Dave Barry.

I gave out 14 bags of CANDY one piece at a time this year, 4 more bags than last year. Somehow, I'm really not worried about the demise of this holiday, no matter how many socially retarded idiots try to get kids to dress up as carrots and other lame crap.

As long as kids knock on my door, they're going to get some serious junk food for their efforts.

I moved from NY to Central OH when I was young and to my dismay found that OH had trick or treat the night before Halloween and it was for 2 hrs so this guy's recollection is a little foggy

Halloween seems more popular now than ever. They have Halloween superstores and adults get really involved costumes for themselves as well as there kids. When I was young we had those stupid masks with a rubber band around them. I think there is no coverage of the war on Halloween because there is no war on Halloween.

This article would have been more interesting had the author discussed reasons why people elect not to give out candy. Maybe its the child obesity epidemic or perhaps parents realize that the chocolate in Hershey's, M&M Mars, and Nestle comes from child Labor and slavery in Africa. That would have been the more interesting article. Tell me about Blood Chocolate and the children of Cote D'ivoire who are sold into slavery so our kids can trick or bleepin treat for a fun sized chocolate bar.

Huff, you're funny, man. Just not as funny as I wanted you to be in this entry. You'd be a great comedy writer though. Keep on.

Sorry, this did not seem like a topic of any relevance for the front page of this website. Perhaps for the society or arts and living section of the newspaper. Too many columnists, including some highly regarded by some, though are similar, in trying to be "cute" in their writing, instead of offering greater substance and straightforward analysis.

Pure tripe. The Post must be in dire straits.I remember the good ole days too. The only thing is that they weren't that good. Selective amnesia makes polio, discrimination, weak environmental laws and censorship of movies and TV seem so benign. I don't buy the razor blade in candy myths. I do believe that our fat diabetic kids could use some other options. Since when have conservatives found begging door to door to constitute working for something?

Congrats on being a finalist! You write well. Your writing is much tighter than the other pundits.

I wanted to enjoy this. I did not find it funny. It did not make me think. Halloween is over. This topic was not timely. Why did you mention NY Times article when you're writing for Wash. post?

In the next round, please choose a more timely topic with more substance. I know you are trying to be funny, but I want more depth from pundits.

Afghanistan is easy. Comedy is hard.

I see what the author is going for here. He makes it part way. I applaud the attempt, but I would have omitted all but one or two of the references to national politicians and media figures (the Michelle Obama dried fruit thing is just too funny), and tried to make this column one long riff on Halloween.