The League

Emil Steiner
Editor and Blogger

Emil Steiner

The author of NFL Crime Watch and Founding Editor of The League.

Integrate the Black Olympics!

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As the first white member of my high school's Black Student Forum, I am nauseated by the Bennett Brother's "Black Olympics." Promoting the bigotry of competitive eating segregation is something I refuse to swallow. And the fact that only African Americans were invited to compete in the "Olympiad" makes me want to puke.

It's true that as a white Jew growing up in the Northeast, I wasn't fortunate enough to enjoy regularly the delicious goodness of watermelon, fried chicken and Kool-Aid. Instead my family was often forced (by guilt) to subsist on a soul crushing menu of gefilte fish, maror and Manischewitz. For a whole week each year we consumed boxes and boxes of dry, flavorless crackers. Some days we didn't eat at all.

But so what? Just because my gastronomical heritage was a tad meshugana, it doesn't mean these fingers aren't worthy of tearing apart a chicken wing or that my mouth cannot spit seeds or that my parched throat doesn't thirst for the sweet harmony of sugar, water, fructose, citric acid, calcium phosphate, sodium citrate, natural flavor, ascorbic acid, yellow 6, yellow 6 lake, artificial flavor, titanium dioxide, Red 40 lake and BHA. . . . mmmmm BHA!

My love for gobbling down these and many other foods might even be stronger, as it was honed from years of attempting to cleanse my pallet after ingesting lukewarm mounds of white fish salad -- which, I might add, is neither white, nor a fish nor a salad. . . . discuss.

It turns my stomach that in this day and age certain races might not be welcome at the prestigious "Black Olympics." After all, isn't Japan's Kobayashi among the most prodigious eaters of hot dogs, a stereotypically Bavarian food? Imagine what an awful world this would be without the inspired grace of a slight Asian inserting 54 processed meat sticks down his throat in under 12 minutes. Where would our children turn to find their heroes?

But I have hope. Despite the rampant ignorance of "Black Olympians" Martellus and Michael Bennett, I have hope. Call me a dreamer, but I believe someday a chubby white kid with the gastrointestinal fortitude of a Jersey heifer will compete in the "Black Olympics" -- not as a cracker, not as a token but as an equal.

By Emil Steiner  |  July 16, 2009; 12:58 PM ET  | Category:  Dallas Cowboys , Emil Steiner , NFL , Race , Seattle Seahawks Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati  
Previous: Awareness Fail | Next: The Bennetts' Brand Takes a Dive

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