Media Conspiracy

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Denial, as you know, is not just a river in Egypt. It's also the name of the orange and brown artery running from my heart to my brain. So despite the East Coast media elite implication of your question, the Cleveland Browns are going to win a game this year.

Look, this is not a time for logic. I'll believe what I want to believe despite any facts you may have or actual NFL standings that you can produce. I've already noticed that you've arranged for most of the winless teams to be from the Midwest and Florida. Yes, I said arranged. It is not a coincidence that there are zero winless teams on the West Coast or in the Northeast. Conspiracy? You betcha! The conspiracy is vast.

Fans in St. Louis, Cleveland, Tennessee, Kansas City, Tampa Bay and Miami know that The Man doesn't care about them. Who is The Man? He's with Those Guys who are with That Group. However it works, you can't deny that fans in those six cities have yet to root for one NFL win this season. See! See how denial works. You can't do it.

So I'll fess up. The team with the best chance to go winless is the Rams. Or the Titans. Maybe the Chiefs or Buccaneers or Dolphins.

But it won't be the Browns. It can't be the Browns.

By Brian Tarcy | September 28, 2009; 1:59 PM ET | Category: Cleveland Browns , Kansas City Chiefs , Miami Dolphins , St. Louis Rams , Tampa Bay Buccaneers , Tennessee Titans Save & Share:
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