The League

Michael Kun
Author

Michael Kun

Co-author of The Football Uncyclopedia. He is also the author of six other books and is a practicing attorney.

Kids in a candy shop

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Imagine if you will that you are a child with a lot of money.

Maybe you saved your allowance. Maybe your grandparents gave it to you. Maybe you found some buried treasure. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you have a lot of money.

Then imagine that you like candy. And that you happen to live near the greatest candy store in the world. But, as much as you'd like to buy a tremendous amount of candy, your parents won't let you do it. No, they limit how much money you can spend at the candy store each week. And you obey your parent's instructions and stay within your limit.

Then, one day, for whatever reasons, your parents say, "You're old enough to make your own decisions, Johnny. Buy as much candy as you'd like." (Feel free to insert your own name if it's something other than Johnny.)

So there you are, with a pocketful of cash, standing in a store filled with candy. Snickers, Nestle Crunch, Milk Duds, plain M&Ms, peanut M&Ms, Cadbury bars, Ritter Sports, etc., etc.

You can buy whatever you like. You can buy as much as you like. This is the greatest day of your life. So, of course, you buy as much as you can carry home. And, of course, you live to regret it.

I can't pretend that this is a perfect analogy, but imagine that you in that scenario is not really you, but instead you are the Washington Redskins, and the candy store is uncapped free agency. You can sign as many free agents as you want, and for as much as you want. Which is exactly what the Redskins will do.

The Redskins have money sticking out of their pockets and, although they've tried, the only reason they haven't completely emptied their pockets to date in the pursuit of a championship is that the league has told them they can't.

That, of course, is not an issue this off-season. This season is uncapped.

Generally speaking, this season the Redskins can spend as much as they would like on unrestricted free agents. And you know they will, so desperate are they to win a championship.

Julius Peppers? You'd look beautiful in burgundy. How many zeroes should we put in your check?

Darren Sproles? Your family is going to love living in Chevy Chase. May we show you around?

LaDainian Tomlinson? Hey, if Darren Sproles turns us down, we can show you the house he was looking at in Chevy Chase. It has a four-car garage.

Darren Sharper and Gary Brackett? Not sure we even need you, but what the heck, the more the merrier. Do you have Dunta Robinson's phone number? I'm sure we can find playing time for all of you.

Terrell Owens? Do you promise you'll behave? Really? Do you swear? Okay, here's some money. Let us know if you'd like some more.

Chad Pennington?
If we don't pick a QB in the first round of the draft this year, would you like to take some of our money?

Of course, I'm exaggerating to make a point here. Will the Redskins pursue all of these free agents? Of course not. They understand they can only put 11 players on the field at a time (excepting those occasions when they were penalized for having 12 out there.)

Will they pursue Sharper, or Brackett, or Owens? Probably not. But they will pursue Peppers, and they'd be smart to pick up Sproles as a situational back.

But if you thought I was kidding about Pennington, you're wrong. He might not be a perfect fit for Shanahan's system, but he's a sharp quarterback who makes smart decisions. There's a reason he has one of the highest completion percentages in NFL history. The guy knows his limitations, and knows how to work within a system.

Yes, Pennington's the Hershey bar in a free agent class filled with fancy expensive candies. But sometimes a Hershey bar is exactly what you want.

But just like the kid in the candy shop who runs wild, the Redskins are going to end up regretting it if they throw all of their money at free agents this off-season. You can't have a diet based on candy, and you can't build a team by relying on free agents.

By Michael Kun  |  March 5, 2010; 12:00 AM ET  | Category:  Free Agency , NFL , Washington Redskins Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati  
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Comments

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This is the Redskins plight. The only decent offensive player you named is Sproles. I don't even think little Danny is going to give up a #1 and #3 for him.Pickings are mighty slim.

Posted by: hughsie48 | March 5, 2010 7:58 AM

this article is ridiculous.

Posted by: halbert1 | March 5, 2010 8:41 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You are so right. You may want to include something about your character suffering from vitamin deficiency while chasing candy.

....there's not a single offensive lineman on this list.

Posted by: trident420 | March 5, 2010 8:43 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
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