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Michael Kun
Author

Michael Kun

Co-author of The Football Uncyclopedia. He is also the author of six other books and is a practicing attorney.

Brett Favre is...

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Brett Favre is the girl you dated in high school who always had to be told how pretty she was.

Brett Favre is the childhood friend who wanted you to beg him to come out to play.

Brett Favre is the guy at work who always has to be patted on the back and told how valuable he is to the company.

Brett Favre is the guy on your high school baseball team who always limped around school or had an ice pack on his shoulder just so he looked that much more heroic when he came out of the dugout to pitch.

Brett Favre is the woman who sulks when another woman is paid a compliment.

Brett Favre is the guy who tells you he's been offered another job just so you have to convince him to stay.

Brett Favre is the person you tolerate just because he's so talented. Because without that talent you probably couldn't care less.

I don't want to talk about how talented Favre is (other than to say I'd take Johnny Unitas, Bart Starr, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, Len Dawson and John Elway over Favre any day of the week. And I could be talked into adding a few more to that list.)

I don't care how talented Favre is. This isn't about talent.

And don't tell me what a great teammate he is and how his teammates all adore him. I've met one of his former teammates and can tell you they don't all feel that way.

If they haven't said publicly that they believe Brett Favre is a prima donna, it's because they're holding their tongues. They're being smart. They're being gentlemen. They're being professional. They know that they gain nothing by criticizing Favre.

Aaron Rodgers has never said anything about Brett Favre. Remember Aaron Rodgers? He's the guy who had to go through a couple of off-seasons wondering whether he would get his chance to start for the Packers or hold Favre's clipboard again. Want to know why Rodgers has never said anything about Favre? Because Aaron Rodgers is smart. He's being a gentleman. You and I both know that Aaron Rodgers got awfully sick of Favre's annual should-I-or-shouldn't-I-retire saga, particularly that last year when Favre decided he wanted to play again after he'd already announced his retirement and Rodgers had already been named the starter.

Rodgers held his tongue and, instead, went out to have a couple of fantastic seasons after the Packers had enough of Favre's antics and shipped him off to the Jets.

Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels now know exactly how Rodgers felt. I'm not saying they're as talented as Rodgers -- they aren't -- but their careers and lives have been needlessly interrupted by Favre's annual Hamlet act.

They, too, have been smart. They, too, have been gentlemen. They, too, have held their tongues. They know they would gain nothing by criticizing Favre, but, not so deep down, you know they're thinking, "Make up your mind already, you horse's ass. This team isn't all about you."

But they won't say that.

Nobody can say what they really think about Favre because they're afraid of how he might react. That's the problem dealing with prima donnas. It's a constant ego massage, even if you have to lie through your teeth in the process.

Despite saying otherwise, don't you think Brad Childress wants to know who his starting quarterback will be this season?

Don't you think every member of the Vikings wants an answer to the same question?

Of course they do. And if they say differently it's only because they're afraid Favre will pout and retire again, and weaken the team's chances if he stays retired this time.

Wouldn't it be great if someone would just sit down with him and tell him to grow up?

Wouldn't it be great if somoene would tell him to act like a man, instead of a spoiled little boy or girl?

Wouldn't it be great if someone would tell him that his demand for attention and admiration is unseemly?

That's unlikely to happen.

You and I both know that there's a great chance Favre will come back to play for the Vikings this season, despite the signals he sent earlier this week. Maybe not in time for training camp, maybe not even in time for the first game or two, but he'll be back.

He just needed everyone to tell him how pretty he is.

Again.

By Michael Kun  |  August 5, 2010; 10:25 AM ET  | Category:  Brett Favre , Minnesota Vikings Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati  
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Comments

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Wow, some of the worst analogies ever. So you truly believe Favre fakes the severity of his injuries just so he seems tough? Just proves my latest theory that sports reporters are not journalists, just tabloid reporters at best. This article was an epic fail Mike. For the sake of your clients I hope you're a better lawyer than you are sports commentator....FYI playing fantasy football against all your dorky friends does not count as "experience", I bet you never played real football, you know, where you get smashed to pieces every other play. I'm a freaking girl and I have....

Posted by: xninjagrrl | August 5, 2010 12:37 PM

Wow! There is a lot of hate in this article. Well first off. Brett Favre is the toughest Quarterback to ever play in the NFL. He played with a broken thumb. He gets seriously injured and keeps playing. He isn't faking these injuries. And he is also one of the most selfless guys in the NFL. He is a HUGE supporter in the make a wish foundation. Have you realized that people love Favre because of his down to earth personality? I mean he spends his time playing with high school kids. I don't know what you have against Favre but you need facts to rip on a player. You have only an opinion and you know what people say about those.

Posted by: mackattack | August 5, 2010 6:50 PM

Great article Michael. This is exactly how I feel. I am a Green Bay Packers fan and have been one since 1965. This is the same old story every year and I am so tired of it. He should have retired with dignity with the Packers before his last pass with two teams was a key interception in a game which decided if his team would go to the Super Bowl. I look for him to line up behind center in the Vikings opening regular season game. No training camp, no pre-season, just get there before the first game and start. Wait and see.

Posted by: RickB56 | August 5, 2010 6:57 PM

michael kun is the kid in h.s. that you wanna punch in the face.

why not just admit you're a Favre-hater, kun. that's ok - but it'll more clearly illustrate your anti-Favre stance in all your articles.

Posted by: jeffbumbershoot43 | August 5, 2010 10:15 PM

Wow, latest news, Brett Favre decides to retire to pursue his passion for photography.

Adrian Peterson said, “But if he is really retiring, geez, not sure how we will ever survive without a 40-year old overrated white dude who throws lots of interceptions and won one Super Bowl in 20 years? Anyone got Trent Dilfer’s number?”

Read the article.

VERY FUNNY.

http://www.dailygoat.com/?p=2312

Posted by: eye95 | August 6, 2010 2:02 AM

Mr Kun....Thank you! There are not to many sports writers who have the b@lls to call Favre out.I am a Green bay Packer Fan and while we all agree HE IS GREAT,we also have seen a man who has serious ego problems ruin his legacy.We watched him stumble around Green Bay and Milwaukee so hammered he could not walk and this was for years.He had drug problems.He led the league in INT's many times,he saved his worst game of the season for the playoff's but we all stood behind him.I have heard his side in regards to leaving the Pack 3 times on TV or in a magazine and all 3 were a little different.The packer organization has taken the high road and not spoken on it-we haven't heard Ted Thompson's version which I'll bet differs from Bretts.Now he's accused of SEXUAL HARASSMENT.In the end what goes around comes around....For Favre the latter half of that statement is a comen.

Posted by: jcoby | August 6, 2010 12:14 PM

I'd wager big bucks Kun has never met Favre and thus, in the abscence of firsthand information, created this screed.

Heaven forbid the media should take responsibility for itself. This is a beast they created and perpetuated far moreso than Favre has.

Posted by: daflound75 | August 7, 2010 6:06 AM

I think he wants a 2nd ring to prove that the 1st one wasn't a fluke. Bart Starr had many, as does Staubach, Montana, Bradshaw, Elway, and Brady. I think it shows some of his insecurities. It also may be that he doesn't have a clue what to do with his life after football. It's all he's ever done.

Posted by: A1965bigdog | August 7, 2010 10:06 AM

Yes, Brette Favre is the typical pampered and spoil millionaire athlete.

Posted by: beenthere3 | August 7, 2010 11:29 AM

So apparently Rodgers comment that the fans should shut up and get on board is classy. Favre's working with kids in the offseason and donating time and money to Make a Wish is not. I'd like to see you stand in his place and take the hits he has for 20 years and get up and play each and every week. Let's not blame the media for any part of this week's circus - no let's blame Favre who said and did nothing to start this baloney. Do you, Mr. Kun, honestly believe that Brett Favre does not bring everything he has every game he plays - 309 straight, by the way, an NFL record for every position except kicker? Are you for a second, implying that he was not injured in the Championship game and is just looking for attention with his ankle surgery? - Really, how sad your life must be for you to feel the need to spew this spiteful, envious sounding garbage. Grow up indeed!

Posted by: tlmjohnson | August 8, 2010 12:52 AM

this is the biggest load of crap i've seen on the favre thing yet. you're down 21-0 at the half in the superbowl and favre is the guy you want-and that doesn't mean those other guys weren't great; a couple of them might even pull it off. but favre has the combination of determination, skill, toughness and love of the fight which i say would give the best shot at the prize under pressure. and by the way, the vikings were flat out robbed so the media darling saints(the second best team in the nfl last season-and i got no connections w/minn.
the media do this every year to fill in time. favre himself is just a guy who loves to play and is getting older with people he cares about pressuring him to trade it in for more time w/them. not an easy choice.

Posted by: avanti77 | August 8, 2010 3:13 AM

Good grief. So Favre is generous with the Make a Wish Foundation. So he's played injured. So what? To criticize him for his annual narcissistic wavering is not to say he is evil or without any redeeming qualities, folks. The columnist has not questioned his toughness or his commitment to charity. I'm glad he helps kids, but it's easy to be generous when you've got so much surplus wealth. And there's no doubt he's tough, but his ego kept him playing through the '99 season with a broken thumb--just to keep his streak going--when he should have sat. This selfish jerking-everyone-around is disgusting. Please, Brett, this life-long Packers fan is begging you . . . just go away.

Posted by: dmpk218 | August 8, 2010 12:08 PM

Being a great football player involves being a great asset to a team. I think Farve needs to remember that a quarterback cannot play by himself, and he needs to respect the rest of the team and make a decision! My gosh, between his retirements and Cher's farewell tours no one is ever going to trust an ending to be an end!

Posted by: bayareacwgrl | August 18, 2010 12:35 PM

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