Sunday Line Chatter, Week 4: Games We'll Skip to Nurse Our Hangovers From Dave's Wedding
Cleveland (+3 1/2) at Cincinnati
Matt Bonesteel: ew, girl, ew.
David Larimer: Another line I just loathe
Matt Bonesteel: the teams aren't very likable, either
bielerd: That half-point absolutely puts me off the Bengals. I can't believe these teams' pitifulness is separated by more than a field goal.
Matt Bonesteel: the mere threat of brady quinn is pushing me toward the bengals.
bielerd: so you find Brady Quinn more threatening than any of the Bengals? interesting
Matt Bonesteel: he is intimidating. the way a pillow in a pillow fight is intimidating.
David Larimer: I'll take the Browns. Anderson isn't this bad, and he's not gonna get pressured by the Bengals, who have one sack all season. One.
bielerd: okay, that's about as much discussion as this game deserves
Houston (+7) at Jacksonville
David Larimer: Seriously, this line moved two points overnight too?
David Larimer: That acutally hurts, b/c I was making loud locking noises at +9
bielerd: 9? I don't recall seeing 9 points for this game. where were you looking, jagsrawesome.com?
David Larimer: Oh, wait, That was in USA Today
David Larimer: I hate USA Today!
Matt Bonesteel: stupid pie charts.
bielerd: what does Danny Sheridan know, anyway?
David Larimer: Some guy made me drop my wonderful Washington Post, FORCED a USA Today in my hands, opened to the spreads. I tried to fight him off, but he had a gun!
Matt Bonesteel: i freely admit not following the texans much this season, so in my ignorance of them i'll take the jags.
David Larimer: I think I just made Post employees and/or readers look like weaklings, which can't be good for subscription rates, either. I'll just move on
bielerd: on the bright side, you made USA Today employees and/or readers look like gun-toting thugs, so there's that
Matt Bonesteel: well, we're pretty much weaklings. our readers are quite virile, though.
bielerd: I assume Dave was going to take the Texans to cover, getting 9. I'll take them to cover getting 7. maybe this is the week Andre Johnson hangs on to a TD pass or two
David Larimer: Sooo, people are high on the Jags again b/c they ran over the Colts. Thing is, w/out Bob Sanders, a Hot Wheel could run over the Colts. I have no idea what they've done to be giving a TD against anyone. They're still hurt, and they're still built for close, low-scoring games
bielerd: so no lock, Dave?
David Larimer: So yes, I hear the cold steel bars of a lock coming together. ka-CHUNK. That's a Texans lock.
bielerd: ooh, you don't want to wind up on lock row in Texas
Matt Bonesteel: the texans have looked pretty putrid, tho. on both sides of the ball, actually.
David Larimer: Houston's 18th against the run against teams that pretty much only run, which isn't totally putrid
Matt Bonesteel: houston's 27th against the run, according to nfl.com.
Matt Bonesteel: they're 19th in rushing OFFENSE.
David Larimer: Oh whatever, Mr. Pedantic. Jags are overrated.
Arizona (+1) at N.Y. Jets
Matt Bonesteel: anyone out there bumped into Anquan Boldin at the Tysons Margaritaville?
bielerd: hey, we can resume our discussion of just how grizzled and decorated the two QBs in this game are!
Matt Bonesteel: Moving on, choosing a commute between tysons and catholic is much better than sleeping in your own bed at night, no?
David Larimer: I'm waiting for Des's pick here
bielerd: oh, and by they way, what's that loping, syncopated beat I hear? could it be the strains of D.C. homegrown funk? Why yes, it is! Lock it! Lock it! This is essentially a pick em, and it sez here the Jets will win.
David Larimer: That's even better. One clear trend to emerge already is when Des picks the Jets, do the opposite. Cardinals, then.
Matt Bonesteel: good. i will take the cardinals. i also will take favre not finishing the game on his bum ankle.
bielerd: Favre won't finish the game b/c Gang Green will be up like 31-13 late in the fourth. Warner accounts for four turnovers as his salt-and-pepper stubble shrinks from its matchup with Favre's.
Buffalo (-8) at St. Louis
David Larimer: I picked the Rams last week, didn't I?
Matt Bonesteel: as did I.
bielerd: I think it's time for the Rams to lose in a different way. Like in an agonizingly close game.
David Larimer: It's starting to look like there's not a spread big enough for the Rams
bielerd: true. they are worse than the fact that I have to spend the day after your wedding writing all day about football
Matt Bonesteel: now steven jackson is making unhappy noises about bulger's benching. this ship be sinking. bills.
Matt Bonesteel: oh, and bulger no longer wants to play for linehan, according to the post-dispatch.
David Larimer: Benching Bulger is such a desperation move. I don't know how Trent Green can help.
David Larimer: to confirm, that would be a bills pick
bielerd: fine, I'll take the Rams. come on, backdoor cover!
Denver (-9 1/2) at Kansas City
bielerd: we saved the best for last
Matt Bonesteel: these really were the two best games. perhaps that's why we're featuring them so prominently in the paper.
bielerd: hey, anyone can write an interesting take on, say, Skins-Cowboys. we do so much more with so much less. [cheesy announcer's voice] And only in Sunday's Washington Post!
David Larimer: I think this is where I root for the backdoor cover.
Matt Bonesteel: huard's injury is a mystery to all, including to probably everyone on the chiefs. yet they say he's gonna start. yet thigpen says he's been sharing snaps with the first team because "damon can't take them all." what on earth is going on over there?
David Larimer: Herm Edwards has, in fact, lost his mind
bielerd: It's enough for me that the KC Star says Huard will start for the Chiefs instead of TT... er, Terrible Tyler Thigpen.
Matt Bonesteel: in any case, i'll ride the broncos. the chiefs have gone to plaid.
bielerd: Seriously, tho, the Broncos D is not good. I think the not-terrible quarterbacking Huard can provide should be enough to get the cover.
Matt Bonesteel: what if it's not-terrible-but-secretly-quite-injured huard?
bielerd: Then Marques Hagans will come in and run the wishspread
Matt Bonesteel: or the bone option.
David Larimer: I'm banking on the Broncos taking a breather after three straight wacky games, and before they head into another tough stretch. I'm also counting on Huard's secret injury being a superpower. Chiefs.
Matt Bonesteel: a concussion is not a superpower.
By
David, Des and Matt
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September 26, 2008; 2:08 PM ET
| Category:
Game Previews Week 4
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