Sunday Line Chatter, Week 6: Games We'll Skip in Favor of Brawling With Our Bodyguards
Oakland (+7) at New Orleans
Dave: Is Lane Kiffin still coaching the Raiders? You might find it hard to believe, but they´re not really concerned about that down here. I´ll take Oakland.
bielerd: the Cable Effect!
Matt Bonesteel: Basic Cable!
bielerd: yeah, no way is Al Davis springing for Skinemax
Matt Bonesteel: saints have to be at least a little salty over monday's loss, no?
bielerd: perhaps, but they are up against the man who masterminded Idaho to a 11-35 record
Matt Bonesteel: that's actually superb, for Idaho.
bielerd: well, maybe it is. they don't really do football there. ok, let's try this: the last two coaches the raiders hired who had backgrounds as offensive line coaches were Art Shell and Bill Callahan. how'd those hirings work out?
Matt Bonesteel: callahan took them to the super bowl. we should ask larimer what he thinks about callahan's stint at nebraska.
bielerd: I knew you'd point out the super bowl thing, which made him like Barry Switzer, except if Switzer's Cowboys had gotten drubbed in the Super Bowl by Jimmy Johnson's Bills
Matt Bonesteel: um, i guess?
bielerd: the point is, I'll take New Orleans
Matt Bonesteel: i will also take the saints.
Miami (+3) at Houston
Dave: I saw the Dolphins got another eye-opening win, but I didn´t really see how, because NFL highlights on TV took a back seat to four straight days of coverage on who was picked for Argentina´s roster for its next World Cup qualifier. Pick: Dolphins.
Matt Bonesteel: I guess, like most of the United States, they too don't get the NFL Network down there.
bielerd: guess Dave didn't see that the Dolphins were up against the only coach in the league (Norv Turner) shocked that they would actually run the Wildcat play a few more times
Matt Bonesteel: he was looking it up on wikipedia at halftime.
bielerd: Miami may have to throw in some different trickeration, like a reverse fumblerooskie or two
Matt Bonesteel: that would be sweet.
bielerd: this isn't saying much, but Houston is easily the class of the winless teams
Matt Bonesteel: i was about to say something very similar to that. king of the losers!
bielerd: altho in fairness, the Bengals have a better point differential in one more game played. but Cincy wasn't on the cover of ESPN magazine's NFL preview edition
Matt Bonesteel: you read ESPN magazine?
bielerd: no, of course not. I just look at the pictures
Matt Bonesteel: that's all it is: pictures. and seizure-inducing layouts.
bielerd: well, the Texans better win this one because after this...actually, after this they have the Lions and Bengals at home.
Matt Bonesteel: the dolphins are good against the run, thus should be able to keep slaton in check. the texans are crap against the run, thus allowing the dolphins to keep running the wildcat. i'll take miami.
bielerd: I have a feeling Houston will bounce back from that gut-wrenching loss last week. Mostly by benching Sage Rosenfels. Texans.
Detroit (+13) at Minnesota
Dave: I´m gonna pick the Lions and get out of the way, because I´m pretty sure Bonesteel´s gonna spout another stultifying statistic about point spreads in 3...2...1....
bielerd: well?
Matt Bonesteel: ask, and ye shall receive: the favorite in this series is 4-1-1 ATS over the past six games, and the Lions are 0-5-1 ATS in their last six against Minny. Vikes have won 11 of the past 12 meetings straight-up.
bielerd: now, them's some stats! I would have just accepted the fact that the Lions have lost 10 straight road games at Minny, which sounds bad until you consider that Detroit has lost 16 straight at Green Bay and 18 straight at Washington
Matt Bonesteel: but there's that whole double-digit point spread thing to think about.
Matt Bonesteel: and are the vikings 13 points better than anyone?
bielerd: well, there is the fact that the closest loss for the Lions this year was by 13
Matt Bonesteel: there is that.
bielerd: I'm going with the Vikings to cover this huge spread, and I'm the guy who took the Rams earlier. I think firing Matt Millen was like the government bailout -- things are going to get frighteningly worse before they get better
Matt Bonesteel: Oooh, topical.
bielerd: I, like, know things, and stuff
Matt Bonesteel: Only the Chiefs and Colts are worse against the run, meaning AP could have one of those huge games he has before he gets injured. Dan Orlovsky (zero career starts) may get the call for the Lions. I'll take the Vikes and the big number.
Cincinnati (+6) at N.Y. Jets
Dave: You´d think the NFL would get a little more love in Argentina now that Chad Ocho Cinco has almost doubled the number of Latin surnames in the league. But, alas. Jets.
bielerd: Lock alert! Lock alert!
Matt Bonesteel: you're not gonna lock the jets, are you?
bielerd: I play Matt's team in fantasy this week, and for some reason sportsline.com has installed my underachieving squad as a 12-point favorite this week. I'm declaring it a LOCK that Matt's team will cover
Matt Bonesteel: you're being too kind to my team, which is forced by management incompetence to start michael pittman.
bielerd: who will probably score three 1-yard touchdowns while AP has a bizarrely low-scoring outing like he had last week against the Saints
Matt Bonesteel: come on. he's playing the LIONS!
bielerd: meanwhile, I am trotting out Senor Sinkhole for the sixth straight week due to management incompetence (i.e., my continuing inability to round up an acceptable alternative)
Matt Bonesteel: moving on to real life, jets have allowed 83 points the past two games. last time they allowed so many back-to-back was 1986.
Matt Bonesteel: of course, a lot of those points were garbage-time to the cards.
Matt Bonesteel: they would've allowed more if they didn't break boldin's sinus.
bielerd: and in other news.... I feel it! I like it! Lock it! Lock it! dang right I'm locking the Jets. Favre has had a week to rest and digest the playbook some more, while Carson Palmer admitted he isn't confident in throwing deep with that gimpy elbow of his
Matt Bonesteel: he didn't need to throw deep last week to keep it close against the cowboys, which is why i'm taking the bengals (who should never let chris perry touch the football again)
bielerd: I just don't think the Bengals will be able to keep up with the Jets on the scoreboard, and Favre may not even have to do too much, what with Cincy's horrible run defense
Matt Bonesteel: Joe Walton was the coach in 1986, btw. I'm distantly related to him.
bielerd: wow, Joe Walton! of "Joe must go!!!" fame
Green Bay (+1 1/2) at Seattle
Dave: If I gleaned one thing from the Packers-Falcons score -- and it´s probably just one thing, since pretty much all I saw was the score -- it´s that I see bad things in store for Green Bay. Seahawks.
Matt Bonesteel: so i guess he didn't see the seahawks score, then?
bielerd: nah, he was ordering mas fernet y cokes
Matt Bonesteel: lots of injuries here.
bielerd: nice 15 minutes of fame for Deion Branch
Matt Bonesteel: charlie frye could go for seahawks.
bielerd: he could go... to the practice squad?
Matt Bonesteel: no, he could go to sizzler and get the starting quarterback discount.
Matt Bonesteel: if hasselbeck or seneca wallace can't go. both are injured.
bielerd: I think Hasselbeck will play, and the Seahawks' home crowd will give A-Rodg fits by making that intimidating bird sound
Matt Bonesteel: CAW!
bielerd: yes, that one! Seahawks for me
Matt Bonesteel: seahawks for me. packers are the more injured of the two, and that's saying something.
bielerd: alrighty, then, another week o' picks in the books. here's hoping Dave cools off a bit
Matt Bonesteel: yes, he needs to be brought back down to the mediocrity we're accustomed to.
By
David, Des and Matt
|
October 10, 2008; 2:07 PM ET
| Category:
Game Previews Week 6
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