Sunday Line Chatter, Week 11: Games We'll Skip in Favor of Trying to Come Up With Worse Movie Titles Than 'Quantum of Solace'
Oakland (+10 1/2) at Miami
Des: hmm, the Dolphins had a smaller spread to cover last week against a West Coast team at home, and they didn't come close
Dave: Wildcat vs. Pussycat
Matt: This West coast team is the Raiders, tho.
Des: yes, the Pride-less and Poise-less Raiders. good lord, they're terrible
Matt: My brother-in-law has season tickets to the Raiders, and he lives in LA.
Matt: They should do psychological tests on him.
Des: well, he's not going to find pro football in L.A., I suppose. But not in Oakland, either! (ba-dum!)
Matt: You know what really works in today's NFL? Switching your play-caller three times in a season.
Des: at least the Raiders won't have Javon Walker around to louse this things up for them in a highly paid manner. he's done w/an ankle injury
Des: also, Darren McFadden should be back
Dave: As Des knows, the Raiders couldn't cover as 9 points dogs last week, at home, with the opposing QB having without exaggeration one of the worst games an NFL quarterback has had in 40 years. So how can I not take the Dolphins?
Matt: I'm gonna stop trying to decipher the mysteries of oakland and just take the Dolphins. god, the raiders are dreaful.
Des: yes, that was a monstrous stink-bomb Delhomme dropped. Pennington might have a better idea of what to do when his favorite receiver gets taken out of the game by Asomugha
Dave: I wonder how Asomugha, who can do no wrong in my mind, will do against the Wildcat.
Matt: I bet he can shut down Pennington when he lines up as a wideout.
Matt: just a hunch i have.
Des: If Miami is smart, it'll send whatever receiver Asomugha has on deep routes all day. Chad would never throw the ball to that guy, anyway
Dave: Oh, right, the Dolphins just won't throw in his direction, like everybody else.
Dave: i like des's plan
Des: I want to take all these points, and the Raiders did almost win on a trip to Buffalo earlier this year, but that was under the stellar coaching of Lane Kiffin. Dolphins
Detroit (+14) at Carolina
Matt: Does Detroit have an Asomugha?
Des: I definitely want to take all these points.
Des: even if it means taking the pathetic, 0-16-bound Lions
Dave: The Lions' scoring deficit for the season works out to 14 points per game.
Des: there ya go. I am basing my pick solely on the fact that the biggest spread on the board rarely gets covered by the favorite
Matt: The lions have been double-digit dogs three times this season, and covered each time.
Des: I'm certainly not taking the Lions b/c I think Daunte Culpepper will rediscover the magic he hasn't shown in a half-decade
Dave: It don't scare me. Pathers. RAWR!!
Des: a roar could go either way in this matchup
Dave: but not a RAWR!! That's Panther all the way
Matt: Sex Panther?
Dave: RAWR!!
Matt: Those three games were aginst the vikes, texans and bears. panthers should be much better than any of those teams. panthers.
Des: the Panthers are MUCH better than those teams? not so sure about that
Dave: 80 percent of the time it covers all the time
New Orleans (-5 1/2) at Kansas City
Dave: Now it is timeto acknowledge my saucy teaser!
Des: Chiefs are 1-8, but a feisty 1-8
Matt: Yes they are. They've covered as big underdogs in three straight. That's the essence of feisty.
Dave: Yes, yes! Here's the stat of the week: The Chiefs are so beat up they have had to make 34 tansactions in the past three weeks. 34!
Dave: And yet they've had second-half leads in each of the last three games. Des, you might have to take back your "Catastrophe from Coastal Carolina" tag on Thiggy
Des: oh, it's been removed. I apologize profusely. Appropriate that the Thigster has thrived in the spread offense, b/c the Chiefs have been doing so well against spread since they started using it
Dave: The Saints look closer to implosion right now than the Chiefs, which is strange and remarkable
Des: I just hope for Thigpen's sake that KC doesn't louse things up for him now that LJ is back
Matt: I'm torn here, between the Saints' desperation and the Chiefs' noted feistiness.
Dave: The Saints are No. 1 in yards per game while the Chiefs are last in yards allowed. The Saints have lost all their true road games and given up at least 29 in every gameaway fromteh Superdome. An unlikely shootout awaits.
Des: I'll take the feistiness. Chiefs
Dave: I'll take the Chiefs too. I think the Saints could fold
Matt: Oh, let's all join hands. Chiefs.
Philadelphia (-9) at Cincinnati
Des: are the Bengals a feisty 1-8?
Dave: Feistier than they were at, say, 0-7.
Dave: But the Eagles have done two things: Lose close games and crush bad teams.
Matt: This is true. They absolutely crushed the Rams, Niners and Seahawks, three teams of Cincy's ilk.
Des: and they're 0-4 in games decided by 6 points or less
Matt: And two of those games were on the road, and two of them were against shaky quarterbacks, which Cincy definitely has, so I'll go with the Eagles. CAW!
Dave: I might regret this, with Westbrook not himself and the Bengals off a bye and feeling a little better about themselves, but I'll take the Eagles to hold their form
Des: oof, I kinda wanna go the other way from you guys, but I also feel like the Eagles are gonna take out their frustrations on Cincy. Eagles
Dave: Larimer: Wait, the Eagles are on a short week too
Dave: I'll be sporting and change my moind if you guys allow it
Matt: it's your funeral.
Dave: well, kind of a short week. with a sunday night game
Des: I will also allow you to change your mind
Matt: would this influence you to keep your pick? CAW!
Dave: What if I change it back right now? Kidding. I'll take the Bengals. Meow!
Des: ok, let's get to the next game quickly. Last, and least, we have...
St. Louis (+6) at San Francisco
Matt: ew
Dave: Better football can be found in the Puppy Bowl
Des: I keep thinking this Niners team should be better than what it has shown so far
Dave: This was my most deperssing game preview so far this season
Des: that'll send people sprinting to click that link
Matt: all it consists of is Larimer writing "Why?" 1,000 times.
Dave: the 49ers being 6-point favorites is ridiculous
Dave: I actually was this close to attaching a link to highlights from the Puppy Bowl. But I decided to save it for Seahawks-Rams
Matt: well, the rams have seemingly given up the last three games after a two-game stretch in which everyone was heralding their scrappiness.
Matt: remember when they beat the redskins? that was funny.
Des: that was a Jets-losing-to-the-Raiders head-scratcher. and I'm not sure the 49ers are 3 points better than the Rams on a neutral field
Des: but St. Louis is likely to be without Steven Jackson, whereas Frank Gore is dinged but expected to play
Matt: there's some kind of confusion over whether gore will play. it seems he self-diagnosed himself with a concussion, but the niners' training staff kind of laughed in his face.
Des: if he plays, he's sure to find all the cavities in the Rams defense
Matt: Said Singletary: "Frank Gore is a football player. He does not know what a concussion is."
Des: spoken like a guy who undoubtedly has been concussed a few times himself
Matt: yes, he then admitted he doesn't know what a concussion is in his next breath.
Dave: I think the 49ers are further from going paws-up than the Rams, and I think they'll win, but i can't say one team is a touchdown better than another in a game like this. So I'll take the Rams.
Matt: I'll go with the 49ers. Singletary will take his pants off in the name of celebration this week.
Dave: Dang, wish I had seen that Singletary quote when I was writing the capsule. That's hilarious, then, upon a second's thought, disturbing
Des: I'll take the Niners, also. they showed me a little something last week w/Hill at QB
By
David, Des and Matt
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November 14, 2008; 1:23 PM ET
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Game Previews Week 11
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